Dish Network: The edge is 'everywhere' - Light Reading

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Dish Network's Marc Rouanne said that the edge of the company's coming 5G network will sit wherever the company's customers want it to sit.

"The edge is everywhere," he said. "Our customers will be able to decide."

He added that Dish's 5G network will have the ability to move beyond the confines of its own edge and into a customers' private network. Dish, Rouanne added, is developing network functions that will be able to run inside the company's core 5G network, at its central offices, at its tower sites and also inside of customers' own locations.

"We allow our partners to decide where to connect," he said. "We will disaggregate the data all the way down to the edge."

Rouanne made his comments at the virtual VMworld trade show, hosted by VMware. Dish announced recently that its 5G network functions will run inside of the VMware Telco Cloud via a new multi-year agreement between the two companies. Dish officials explained that the move will allow the company to shift its computing needs across public and private clouds, as necessary, while maintaining a cohesive and unified software operation running on top of VMware's platform. VMware will also act as Dish's software gatekeeper, approving the software from other vendors that will run inside of Dish's network.

Rouanne's comments on edge computing are noteworthy considering a wide number of companies in the cloud computing, datacenter and telecom space are hyping the potential of the technology. Indeed, chip vendor Intel recently touted its own work in the edge computing space, citing forecasts that just 25% of all data will be created in centralized datacenters by 2023. The rest will come from factories, hospitals, retail stores, cities and other locations more conducive to edge computing.

Overall, edge computing technologies promise to dramatically reshape the structure of the Internet by moving computing out of massive datacenters and into smaller computing facilities at "edge" locations that are geographically closer to customers. The result, proponents suggest, will be more responsive and potentially more secure services.

Dish is well aware of the opportunities around edge computing. Rouanne previously told Light Reading that the company is moving forward with an edge computing network design, and that Dish has evaluated products and services from a wide range of edge computing vendors.

And Dish isn't the only telecom company investing in edge computing. Verizon, for example, is switching on more sites in Amazon's edge computing service, while Lumen (formerly CenturyLink) is touting new edge computing locations and customers.

At VMworld, Rouanne explained that "we just need to go into listening mode" and see what enterprises need in terms of edge computing and 5G.

At the same VMworld event, VMware's Shekar Ayyar agreed that technologies like 5G and edge computing could significantly change the way business gets done inside enterprises. He said that 5G networks will be run like datacenters, and he said that as a result companies like VMware are bulking up their telecommunications abilities.

"I do see this as a call to action," he said.

VMware isn't alone in that regard. For example, Microsoft, Amazon and Google have all recently unveiled significant business efforts in the telecom space around private wireless networks, 5G and edge computing.

— Mike Dano, Editorial Director, 5G & Mobile Strategies, Light Reading | @mikeddano

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Dish Fall 2020 - Charleston City Paper

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More Charleston restaurants have departed than normal this year, but the ones sticking around are responsible for shaping the future of the city’s food and beverage industry. Lucky for us, we’re in good hands. 

We might have been stripped of much of the comradery that comes with dining out, but local restaurants have become essential beacons of light, developing safety protocols on the fly with little guidance or direction. 

We’ve seen a heightened focus on supporting Black-owned restaurants, helping us rediscover establishments integral to Charleston’s past, present and future. As Parker Milner discusses on page 6, upscale restaurants are getting creative with takeout, and some newcomers have found an offering that fits the time, adding to the growing list of Charleston’s hidden gems.  

Sure, difficult days are ahead, as local figures point out on page 14, but our city has proven itself resilient, ambitious and empathetic in the last six months. A special congratulations goes out to all the Charleston restaurants featured in this edition of Dish, places where employees are grinding everyday, keeping customers fed with a smile on their faces. 

In this issue of Dish

Our top restaurants in Charleston for Winter 2020

Where to find Charleston’s delicious hidden gems

Charleston chefs and restaurateurs on the pandemic’s impact and long-term ramifications

Ghaznavi: My family and Ma’am Saab are surviving, but it has not been easy

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The Messy Signature Dish You Make When Alone? It’s Your House Meal. - Eater

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I have a recipe for fried rice that no Asian culture would ever want to lay claim to. It’s a recipe in the loosest sense, made when my partner and I realize we have enough of the ingredients already in the house, but nothing else to make it better or more cohesive. It’s easily added to or subtracted from, usually starting with vegetables we have to use up before next week’s CSA box, which means dicing up everything from onions to romano beans to amaranth leaves. We forget to make rice the day before, so in goes a heaping pile of freshly cooked basmati rice, and maybe an egg, or some frozen shrimp, so that the texture is alternately crispy and goopy. It gets seasoned with mostly soy sauce, but sometimes miso or gochujang whisked in. Out of the wok comes an umami-rich slop, fried rice only in memory. And honestly, who cares? Such is the glory of the house meal.

You, too, probably have a house meal, whether you’ve thought about it or not. It’s a dish that perhaps was once inspired by a recipe, but you’ve made it so many times, and riffed on it so often, that it bears little resemblance to any known dish. It is comfort food at its finest, a thing designed for your specific palate, with absolutely no thought paid to impressing anyone else. And unlike the mainstream understanding of “comfort food,” the house meal is about as experimental and adaptive as you can get.

“I was intending to make something resembling a traditional tortilla soup,” said Whitney Reynolds of Brooklyn, describing the invention of their house meal, “but then dang it if I didn’t buy the wrong kind of tortillas!” Instead of giving up, they sliced their flour tortillas into strips and put them in the soup anyway, turning them into “soft weird sloppy tortilla noodles.” Kristen Carzodo of Albany, California, says she makes what looks like steamed artichokes with aioli, but the sauce is just store-bought mayonnaise and vinaigrette mixed together. And Becca Thimmesch in Washington, D.C., says her “depression chickpeas” grew out of more popular recipes for chickpea curry, but turned into cooking a can of chickpeas with stock and onions, and then topping with yogurt and harissa.

But not every house meal is born out of a recipe gone wrong. Joshua Rivera says his house recipe — a fried egg over rice with a mix of hot sauce and ketchup — was just what his mom made when she was frazzled, money was tight, and she still had four kids to feed. And now, it’s his dish to make “as a solid backup or emergency plan” when there’s nothing else in the house and nobody feels like making much of an effort. Kendra Vaculin, whose house meal is dal mixed with scrambled eggs, said she first made it when trying to “cobble together a dinner from what I had in the fridge,” and found it rang all the bells of other egg and starch dishes, but with a comforting mushy texture. Reynolds also described a dish they made recently as “a real fucked up mess of Goya spanish rice mix, green olives, and ranch dressing all mixed together. Disgusting. Fantastic.”

What ties these house meals together is that mostly these aren’t things you’d serve anyone but yourself. Reynolds has added the tortilla soup recipe to their soup Patreon, and Rivera has made eggs over rice for his partner, but usually the house recipe is so calibrated to your personal comforts that it’d be almost too revealing to make it for anyone else. “It’s a single can of chickpeas for a single serving of dinner,” Thimmesch said of her house meal. Carzodo says she’d serve her artichokes and dipping sauce to the friends in high school, but for an adult dinner party she’d feel the need to make actual aioli.

So much of the impetus behind the house meal is an easy vehicle for soothing flavors, for times when you’re overwhelmed, busy, exhausted, or just don’t have the mental fortitude to make a bigger grocery list or cook something more elaborate. For Reynolds, “sloppy shortcuts” like the tortilla soup, or another dish they make with herbed goat cheese mixed in overcooked rice, have become even more important as they recover from contracting COVID-19 in March. “Six months on I’m still suffering from a lot of fatigue and I can get exhausted easily. I’ve particularly become unable to tolerate heat, which can make cooking pretty difficult. So the more things I have that I can just throw together without a lot of standing in a hot kitchen, the better. Slop SUSTAINS.”

However, it doesn’t mean the house meal is just about shoveling calories into your body. Thimmesch says her chickpeas are “for those nights where you just feel horrible and you want to make something for yourself that’s easy and fast and uncomplicated, but warm and brothy and wakes up your tastebuds a bit.” It’s not flavorless gruel meant only to provide you with filler, but your favorite flavors and textures at their most concentrated. Hot sauce and egg, chickpea and harissa — the elements of more complicated dishes reduced to their most obvious components.

I’ve always prickled at phrases like “comfort food.” The way it’s utilized in America tends to enforce a white, middle-class, and frankly bland palate. Comfort food is tater tots and mac and cheese, and the epitome of a home cooked meal is a “simple” (three spices maximum) roast chicken. Not that those things aren’t delicious, but this language sets up a stark divide: Outside the home is for the weird, the avant-garde, and the new. Home, where comfort lies, is for the simple and the unadventurous, with the assumption that “adventurous” is any cooking laying outside of a northwestern European tradition.

But as these house recipes show, “comfort food” is in the eye of the beholder, and can be an area of great fusion and experimentation. “I’ve been using tomatoes all summer to great effect, but greens work really well, or peppers (kind of menemen-y in vibe plus the dal), eggplant, caramelized onions, or leftover roasted squash,” says Vaculin of her egg-and-lentil mash. “I usually put whatever herbs I have on top, and/or a drizzle of olive oil or ghee or hot sauce or tadka.” My goopy fried rice is usually flavored with miso or gochujang, but sometimes I’ve added leftover tomato sauce and oregano, or takeout birria broth. The point is not adhering to any one flavor profile, but making something entirely suited to your tastes, whatever those are.

The house meal, then, is the epitome of comfort food —not in the broad sense, but when and how it actually matters. It is easy, it is replicable, and it doesn’t need to satisfy anyone but those in your household. And sure, you can gussy it up for company or just for yourself, but... why? I’d only ever add something I could just throw on top,” says Rivera, who once attempted anchovies with his eggs. “Any more work undermines the point.”

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Little Dish Debuts Nutritionally Balanced Toddler Meals in Target Stores Throughout US - Yahoo Finance

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Award-winning UK-based brand offering all-natural, fresh dishes for children ages 12-36 months now available in produce section of select US Target locations.

BOULDER, Colo., Sept. 30, 2020 /PRNewswire/ -- Little Dish, the first brand on the market to offer fresh, nutritious, heat-and-serve toddler entrees, announced today its launch in Target stores throughout the US. The brand, which was founded in the UK in 2006, can now be found in the produce section of select Target stores. Available dishes include: Macaroni & Cheese and Pasta & Tomato Sauce, with more varieties to launch in the coming months. Each dish is nutritionally balanced to make mealtime easier for parents and to help them introduce their toddlers to healthy eating habits.

Little Dish was founded by Hillary Graves, who upon realizing there was a gap in the market for fresh and easy food options for toddlers, decided to pioneer this entirely new category. With the precedent that your child's food should never be older than your child, she set out on a mission to provide a range of fresh meals with 100% natural ingredients.

Each Little Dish meal is made with natural and wholesome ingredients that introduce a variety of tastes and textures to support a diverse palate and healthy eating tendencies. The meals are packed with vegetables, low in sodium, free from additives and preservatives, and have no added sugars.

To ensure that every meal is nutritionally balanced and has the correct amount of calories, protein, fiber, and healthy fats for growing toddlers, the team has worked collaboratively with Nicole Avena, Ph.D., a research neuroscientist, child nutrition expert, and author of What to Feed Your Baby and Toddler (2018). In order to create the best tasting meals, Little Dish has "Tiny Tasters" in the US and UK who are the first to sample and approve meals from the Little Dish kitchen.

"When I had my first baby, I couldn't believe the options for store bought baby and toddler food could sit on the shelf for up to two years. It didn't seem right that the food was older than my baby! At Little Dish we believe that fresh, healthy, delicious food should be kept in the fridge, not the pantry. Many parents don't always have time to prepare daily meals and we want to make it easy for them to feed their children fresh, healthy food even when they are short on time," says Graves. "We have been very encouraged with the positive feedback and success in the UK and are excited to be bringing Little Dish to more US families."

"The first 1,000 days in a child's life are crucial for cognitive development and immune functioning," says Dr. Avena. "Nutrition during this period can have a lasting effect on toddlers through adulthood, and it's important children get key nutrients that support healthy brain development."

Having established themselves as a trusted brand in the UK, Little Dish's Target launch in the US is a huge milestone, and they have plans to further expand both distribution and product offerings in the coming months. Little Dish products retail for $4.99/dish at Target stores in the US.

About Little Dish 

As a new mom living in London, New York native Hillary Graves was shocked to learn that most baby and toddler food sold in the supermarkets was actually older than her child. So, in 2006 from her Notting Hill flat, she launched Little Dish: a range of fresh meals for children 12-36 months made with all-natural, wholesome ingredients that taste deliciously homemade. Little Dish's award-winning recipes are packed with vegetables, low in sodium, free from additives and preservatives, and have no added sugars. To ensure each meal is nutritionally balanced, Little Dish worked closely with Nicole Avena, Ph.D., research neuroscientist, toddler nutrition expert, and author of What to Feed Your Baby and Toddler (2018). Their meals are also all taste tested and approved by their team of "Tiny Tasters." After much success in the UK, Little Dish is now pioneering this new category of heat-and serve toddler entrees in the US and can be found in the produce section of select Target stores throughout the country. To learn more about the brand you can visit LittleDish.com, find them on Instagram @LittleDishUSA, or email at Hello@LittleDish.com.

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SOURCE Little Dish

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Roasted chicken with red grapes a satisfying and elegant dish - The Columbus Dispatch

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Akron Dish: Katie Byard to continue dishing out Akron food news twice a month post-retirement - Akron Beacon Journal

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The Dish: Gaslamp's Water Grill, Lou & Mickey's hoping for a home run with baseball playoffs - The San Diego Union-Tribune

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Gaslamp Quarter restaurants have been especially hard hit by the pandemic this year, with the loss of convention business, visiting baseball teams and fans at nearby Petco Park, special-event bookings and summer tourists.

That’s been a quadruple whammy for King’s Signature Group, which owns two fine-dining restaurants — 6-year-old Water Grill and 15-year-old Lou & Mickey’s — in the historic nightlife district. But news this month that Petco Park will host a series of American League baseball playoffs has been a bright spot on a cloudy horizon.

Mark Augarten, King’s vice president of operations, said the company reopened Water Grill and Lou & Mickey’s near the end of June. Lou & Mickey’s, situated directly facing the convention center, has one of the largest patios in the Gaslamp with more than 40 outdoor tables, so it has been doing better than many Gaslamp eateries this summer. Water Grill has created a temporary fenced outdoor dining area for up to 30 tables.

But diner traffic is far from robust and the added labor cost of setting up and breaking down the Water Grill patio each day slices profits even closer to the bone. And even with the recent approval of limited indoor dining, Augarten said most customers are fearful of eating inside.

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“Even though we’re doing everything we can, it’s a very challenging environment if we can only serve a third or a half of the guests we had before,” Augarten said.

To keep up with the constantly changing rules, Augarten said the company now schedules its workers from week to week, rather than twice a month as it did in the past. And its once-quarterly managers meetings are now conducted via Zoom every week.

One of the biggest blows for King’s Gaslamp restaurants was the loss of private-event bookings, particularly by convention groups and baseball organizations, which previously brought in several million dollars in annual sales. A few small event bookings have started to trickle in, and the baseball playoffs at Petco Park and possibility of the convention center reopening in early 2021 are hopeful signs for the future, Augarten said.

In the meantime, Augarten said residents of the Gaslamp and East Village neighborhoods have been keeping the restaurants going since they reopened this summer.

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“Because we’re such a big operator in the community, we thought we should open as early as possible to help lead the recovery. Even in an environment where we are not going to get the same number of guests as in the past, we want to be at the forefront of that,” Augarten said.

Visit watergrill.com/sandiego and louandmickeys.com.

A new Raising Cane’s restaurant has opened in Mira Mesa.

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Raising Canes opens in Mira Mesa

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers opened its third San Diego County location last week at 8223 Mira Mesa Blvd. in Mira Mesa.

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Like the Vista and Santee locations it opened over the past two years, the new location is only offering takeout and drive-through service, with outdoor dining available on its patio. The fried chicken chain has plans to open 20 more locations by the end of this year, including two more in California. Visit raisingcanes.com.

Interiors of the new Punch Bowl Social, a huge “eatertainment” project that opened in 2018 in East Village.

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Punch Bowl Social reopens

Punch Bowl Social, San Diego’s largest indoor “eatertainment” venue, reopened Sept. 14 after an extended pandemic-related closure. The two-story, 23,500-square-foot business at 1485 E St. in East Village offers a restaurant, three bars, a bowling alley, karaoke rooms and dozens of arcade and table games.

To accommodate social distancing rules, the 2-year-old business is limiting groups to eight or less and is not offering brunch, happy hour or its bloody mary bar. Many of its table games and bowling are open, but special safety precautions are being observed, including face masks at all times, except while seated at tables. Visit punchbowlsocial.com/location/san-diego.

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Pam Kragen writes about restaurants for the San Diego Union-Tribune. Email her at pam.kragen@sduniontribune.com.

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What’s Cooking?: Apple Cider Doughnut Cake - Pocono Record

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Baker makes eerie, life-sized cake replica of herself - Yahoo Sports

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Hyperrealistic cake baker Natalie Sideserf of Sideserf Cake Studio in Austin, Texas may have made her magnum opus. The confectioner opted to make a selfie cake: a life-sized spitting image of Sideserf (from the neck up) filled with lime green buttercream cake and covered in modeling chocolate. 

Sideserf showed how she made the confection in her own image on her YouTube channel Sideserf Cake Studio. 

“Bust cakes are my favorite cakes to make because they’re so challenging,” she says in the video. “They are by far the most difficult cake to sculpt. […] That’s because capturing the likeness of a person is extremely difficult.”

For the dessert, Sideserf made the neck out of modeling chocolate to support the head, which she sculpted out of cake and coated in green buttercream. She covered the head in a thin layer of modeling chocolate. Then Sideserf used a sculpting tool to carve out her facial features and hair. For the finishing touches, she painted more details like the color of her eyes, eyebrows and lips with gel food color. 

The selfie cake nabbed over 900,000 views on YouTube. 

“I can’t even draw myself,” one user commented. 

“This isn’t a cake, this is a masterpiece,” another wrote. 

“You’re truly gifted,” someone added. 

Sideserf talked about her journey with making hyperrealistic cakes in the video. 

“I have a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Art and I always treated cake as I would with any traditional art medium,” she says. “And that’s the reason that I came up with the idea of making my first realistic bust cake back in February 2013.” 

The cake was of singer Willie Nelson and went viral on Reddit. At the time, hyperrealistic cakes weren’t nearly us ubiquitous. The attention is why Sideserf started her cake studio and still runs it today. 

The only 4 products you need in your skincare routine, according to this viral TikTok dermatologist:

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy reading about these candles that look and smell like delicious cheesecake.

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Man captures the second lightning struck his house in thrilling TikTok video

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This powerhouse countertop appliance can replace your microwave, stove and more

Keep your shoes shining with these clever cleaning hacks

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'Cake Boss' Buddy Valastro Reveals Horrific Details of Hand Injury - TMZ

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"Cake Boss" Buddy Valastro is sparing no details of his horrific bowling accident, but says the gruesome injury's left him more grateful than ever ... for his family and the doctors who saved him.

Jersey's other Boss joined "TMZ Live" Tuesday to give his account of the freak bowling accident, telling us he's got a long road to recovery ahead due to severe tendon, nerve and muscle damage to his right hand.

Word of warning ... if you're enjoying a piece of cake -- or any food -- right now, finish up before watching Buddy's description of the pinsetter machine impaling his hand.

As we reported ... Buddy was bowling with his fam on their at-home alley and tried to fix the malfunctioning pinsetter. Buddy said the "blunt force" he felt as a metal rod repeatedly rammed through his hand was by far the worst pain he's ever felt.

He also revealed it wasn't just his hand that was severely injured 😬 ... and gushed about the amazing job his family did to free him from the evil machine to get him to a hospital.

As for the road to recovery ... the "Cake Boss" told us it's gonna be a long one -- but he said it's giving him a newfound appreciation for the medical pros doing miraculous work to fix his hand.

Sounds like renowned orthopedic surgeon Dr. Michelle Carlson can expect a Christmas card, and probably a cake too!

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Disastrous Cake Busts From ‘The Great British Bake Off’ Inspire Great Memes - Eater

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Now that everyone has had some time to digest the premiere of the latest Great British Bake Off season — which hit Netflix on Friday, three days after the U.K. air date — it’s time to fully unpack the first episode’s cake bust showstopper challenge. Asked to create edible, three-dimensional effigies of their personal celebrity heroes, the 12 contestants came up with likenesses that can best be described as “haunting.” The list of hallowed heroes include David Bowie, Bob Marley, Charles Darwin, Lupita Nyong’o, Marie Antoinette, Freddie Mercury, David Attenborough, Chris Hoy, Louise Bennett-Coverley, Bill Bryson, Louis Theroux, and Tom DeLonge.

The cake busts quickly captured the hearts and minds of viewers, who for some reason kept coming back to the theme of “expectation versus reality” in a year in which literally everything has gone off the rails. Ah well, no use psychoanalyzing that particular fixation.

The more grotesque the creation, the more it delighted viewers (remember, we are a society that celebrates the colossal baking failures of Nailed It!). Case in point: Ziggy Stardust’s fleshy, craggy cake dome.

The shrunken head-like cake tribute to pop-punk icon/alien enthusiast DeLonge (of Blink-182 fame) also elicited strong reactions, namely terror.

In fact, there were a lot of invocations of therapy, which is great, I’m glad people are finally more comfortable speaking out publicly about mental health.

Credit where credit is due: making these cake busts, under extreme time pressure, in competition against 11 other contestants, cannot be an easy task. Any effort should be met with polite applause, or at the very least, gratitude that these bakers have given us the gift of schadenfreude during objectively Dark Times. Laughter truly is the best medicine, barring a vaccine deemed safe and effective by clinical trials.

And remember, these cakes cannot hurt you, despite their best efforts!

For a full recap of Episode 1, head over to Eater London.

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Recipe: An apple cake passed down from grandmother to granddaughter is made by many other bakers, too - The Boston Globe

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2020 FierceWireless Rising Star — Dish's John Swieringa - FierceWireless

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For 2020 the FierceWireless editorial team has selected a diverse slate of wireless executives who are on the rise in their careers. We’re doling out the names of our winners, two per day, so that our readers have the time to enjoy reading their profiles. Next week, we’ll post our popular Rising Stars poll, giving everyone the opportunity to vote for their favorite top executive to watch in wireless.

Early on in his executive career at Dish Network, John Swieringa learned an important lesson at the hands of Dish Co-founder and Chairman Charlie Ergen.

“During an executive staff meeting, I took a victory lap for an accomplishment that in retrospect was important, but that was also expected and just part of doing my job,” Swieringa said. “Charlie gave me a really hard time about it, and when I followed up later he told me in an email that when you get to the end zone, you act like you’re supposed to be there, put the ball down and just run back to the huddle. That email is in my keep folder, and it has really helped me over the years.”

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NaaS demystified. What's behind the latest evolution and how can CSPs benefit from closed-loop automation and open APIs to help deliver new 5G-based services.

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So, if Dish is able to succeed in its effort to become a viable fourth national wireless competitor, don’t expect Swieringa, now executive vice president and group president, retail wireless, to dance in the end zone.

Last year, Swieringa, a long-time executive on the pay TV side at Dish, was tapped to lead the integration of Dish’s acquisition of Boost Mobile. That deal closed in July, officially launching Dish into the national wireless fray. Shortly thereafter, Dish picked up more wireless subscribers from Ting Mobile in a deal with Tucows. 

RELATED: Dish picks Nokia for containerized 5G SA core

“I’m now leading the Boost and Ting brands as group president, as well as the operations and information technology teams that are launching side by side with our wireless teams to launch our 5G network,” Swieringa said. “We need to compete successfully as an MVNO by providing better wireless prices and choices to consumers, while simultaneously building out our team and our capabilities as we prepare to launch our 5G network. We’re running toward those goals in parallel.”

Swieringa said he took on the challenge of leading Dish’s wireless efforts because he likes to be where the action is, and believes that Dish can repeat what it accomplished years ago in disrupting the pay TV market with its Dish and Sling TV offerings.

“A couple years ago I didn’t know much about the wireless business, just that we had a lot of skills and capabilities that we thought would translate from our Dish and Sling TV businesses,” he said. “But with overseeing the Boost integration I feel like I have learned a lot, I’ve seen a lot, and I now know that we can compete and win.”

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Cake Boss Buddy Valastro Recovering After Impaling Hand In At-Home Bowling Alley Accident - Vulture

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1. Cake Boss Buddy Valastro Recovering After Impaling Hand In At-Home Bowling Alley Accident  Vulture
2. 'It blew out half of my hand': Buddy 'Cake Boss' Valastro describes gruesome hand injury  NorthJersey.com
3. 'Cake Boss' gets emotional recounting son’s heroics during gruesome hand accident  TODAY
4. 'Cake Boss' Buddy Valastro describes impaled hand, 'terrible' accident  USA TODAY
5. 'Cake Boss’ star Buddy Valastro underwent two hand surgeries after bowling accident  Fox News
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Woman Makes A Cake That Looks Exactly Like Her - KLUV

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'The Great British Baking Show' Cake Celebrities, Ranked - Thrillist

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Entertainment

Cake Week's show-stopper challenge was a bit of a… bust.

An exquisite-looking David Bowie. | Netflix

An exquisite-looking David Bowie. | Netflix

Some good news: The Great British Baking Show is back!!! In today's socially distanced world, the show tried something a little different, sequestering all 12 contestants -- plus judges Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood, and hosts Noel Fielding and Matt Lucas, replacing Sandi Toksvig -- on site for the seven weeks of competition to keep quarantine. And they seem to have pulled it off, starting up a new season with episodes dropping every Friday on Netflix for us Americans.

Collection 8's Week 1 was, as is tradition, Cake Week, and the contestants were charged with baking a Battenberg sponge cake, mini pineapple upside-down cakes, and a fondant-covered bust of their celebrity hero. The first two challenges are pretty standard, but the third… well. There's no winner here, least of all any famous person unlucky enough to be honored by any of last week's bakers, and the whole experience was like watching an extended version of Eddie Murphy's Sonic the Hedgehog "cake" on Saturday Night Live. Because ranking things is our hobby, we decided to rank all of Cake Week's cake busts, from sentient-mound-of-icing to maybe-possibly-resembling-a-human-being. Sadly, we couldn't actually taste any of the cakes, which are surely delicious, so we based our criteria on celebrity resemblance alone. 

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12. Lupita Nyong'o

The Lupita Nyong'o cake isn't real, it can't hurt you. There's a reason this challenge received a lot of comparisons to failed Pinterest projects: In this case, the gulf between expectation and reality was a bottomless chasm. Hermine's "Ode to Lupita" really sets the bar for cake nightmares -- but it is worth mentioning that her work with the icing fabric is actually quite lovely. Maybe with another hour… or five… this cake would have looked like an actual person. 

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11. David Bowie

LOL. Poor Marc's Ziggy Stardust suffers from an affliction familiar to cake busts, wherein the sizable head gradually just sort of eats the neck. This one looks less like a famous singer and more like he's about to start floating through the air yelling about spice production on Arrakis.

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10. Louise Bennett-Coverley

Loriea's recreation of Jamaican poet Miss Lou is maybe my favorite of the bunch, even though it looks nothing like its subject, or anything that would be classified as a terrestrial organism. Loriea mentioned while making it that her first attempt came out looking more like Dobby from Harry Potter, which perhaps would have been preferable to this. At least no one feels that bad cutting into it. 

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9. David Attenborough

Sura's bust of naturalist David Attenborough has a head so big that it needs to be propped up so the whole thing doesn't fall over ("He's taking a nap," she says), and eyes that stare so deep into your soul they can see all of the times you forgot to cut through your plastic six-pack rings before throwing them in the recycling bin. 

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8. Chris Hoy

Peter's tribute to Scottish cycling champion Chris Hoy at least stands up on its own, thanks to those enormous sturdy shoulders. The exact opposite of Sura's Attenborough in every way. 

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7. Freddie Mercury

Laura's attempt at Freddie Mercury looks more like a sleepy South Park character, or maybe an unfortunate Cabbage Patch doll. It's maybe the first one that's actually recognizable, though, with the buck teeth, the mustache, and the expertly sculpted yellow jacket.

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6. Bill Bryson

Mak has made for us author Bill Bryson, which basically looks like any generic guy with a blond beard before someone tells you it's supposed to be Bill Bryson, and you're like, "Oh, yeah, sure." The glasses are a nice touch!

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5. Bob Marley

Linda went for an especially psychedelic rendition of Bob Marley, which sorta looks like the sea witch Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean right before she turned into a bunch of crabs. 

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4. Louis Theroux

Lottie's celebrity hero is British documentarian Louis Theroux, though her cake looks more like a cross between Dr. Seuss and an especially beardy Alfred Molina. Maybe it's the eyes? 

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3. Charles Darwin

Mark took the "bust" part of the challenge a little more literally, crafting what looks like a stone carving that any biology professor would be thrilled to stand proudly on his desk. 

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2. Marie Antoinette

Rowan's Marie Antoinette bust stands impressively upright, and it's unmistakably her, with her delicate powdery makeup and pearly ringlets. Points deducted only for the paper-and-toothpick headdress in place of a failed tray of choux buns.

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1. Tom DeLonge

Dave's bust of former Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge is pretty much the best any of these bakers could have hoped to make. Instead of opting for realism, Dave went for a sort of caricature style, exaggerating DeLonge's sneering mouth and sideways hat. There's intentionality to it, and style, and humo(u)r, which is exactly what you want if you're attempting to make a famous person into a cake. 

Need help finding something to watch? Sign up here for our weekly Streamail newsletter to get streaming recommendations delivered straight to your inbox.

Emma Stefansky is a staff entertainment writer at Thrillist. Follow her on Twitter @stefabsky.

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Choose a 'Benchmark Dish' to Evaluate New Restaurants - Lifehacker

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When dining out or ordering in, I rarely order the same dish every time. There’s a whole menu to enjoy, and I consider myself a flavor explorer. But, when trying a new establishment, I’ll often get something I’ve had many times, at other, similar establishments. I call these “benchmark dishes,” and they’re very important.

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My benchmark dishes are usually iconic dishes that represent their genre, and can give me a bit of insight into the restaurant or bar’s philosophy and style. For example, there are a lot of fancy doughnut places here in Portland and—even if they’re famous for their maple bacon bar or hibiscus glazed—my first order will always be a plain raised glazed.

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A plain raised glazed doughnut reveals all. You can’t hide a stale doughnut or poor technique with a simple glazed doughnut. With one bite, I can tell if I’m going to vibe with this particular purveyor of doughnuts. This is why I don’t care for a certain expensive doughnut spot that everyone who visits seems to adore—they add cinnamon to their plain glazed, which isn’t needed, and which communicates (to me) that they don’t think their combination of yeasted dough and sugar is “enough.”

Similarly, it’s how I know I love Pinolo Gelateria. Their fior di latte (flower of milk) is even plainer than vanilla—it’s just sweetened dairy—and it absolutely rules. There’s nothing to hide behind with fior di latte, so your technique and recipe have to be perfect.

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Other benchmark dishes of mine include Italian sandwiches (no matter what they call them), fried catfish, and martinis. If those come out great, I know I can probably branch out and not be disappointed.

Is it a perfect system? No. One has to be on alert for the odd restaurant/food cart/bar that harbors secret gems. The cocktail bar that makes terrible drinks but has great wings, the pizza place that has great fries, etc. But in most instances, a benchmark dish will tell you what you need to know, allowing you to explore the rest of the menu with confidence.

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The Oceans Are Turning Into a Layer Cake - Gizmodo

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The oceans are facing a host of maladies, from acidification to sea level rise. Turning them into a ginormous liquid layer cake may sound comparatively benign (and delicious). But while Earther is decidedly pro-cake, this is in fact a bad situation.

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New research published in Nature Climate Change on Monday shows that oceans are stratifying faster than previous research indicated. It’s due largely to rising temperatures, and the layer cake-ification of the oceans imperils carbon storage and could upend ecology around the world.

By now, it’s blindingly obvious that the planet is trapping more heat, thanks to a blanket of human-driven greenhouse gas emissions. But the ocean stratification impact is not one of the easily seen consequences, unlike *gestures wildly at the world right now.* To get a grasp on how climate change is splitting the ocean into layered slabs, scientists used a mix of modeling and data captured from networks of autonomous floats that rove the ocean loaded with sensors that record temperature, salinity, density, and other ocean variables.

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The datasets allowed them to look at the period from 1960 to 2018. They found that parts of every ocean basin were seeing water become less dense up and down the water column, which is to be expected, since warmer water is less dense than colder water. But the changes weren’t uniform throughout the water column. Heat at the surface of the ocean takes longer to propagate to the depths, which means the upper layers of the ocean are getting hotter than the lower ones. That temperature-driven gradient is leading to greater stratification; according to the study, temperature changes made ocean stratification more extreme in more 90% of the areas they observed.

Salinity also plays a role, because freshwater is less dense than saltier water, which is a major issue in places near melting ice sheets, like the North Atlantic off the Greenland coast. Though data was more sparse in the Arctic, salinity and temperature changes observed there are leading to some of the most extreme stratification rates on the planet. But in some places, the ocean is getting saltier due to increased evaporation. The findings show that in the Atlantic, temperature-driven stratification is nearly 1.6 times higher than the overcall change because of increasing salinity, most notably in the tropical Atlantic.

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The findings show that there has been a “substantial” increase of 5.3% in stratification globally over the time period they looked at it. The period in the new study is longer than the most recent Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report on the oceans released last September, and the rate of stratification is higher.

Last year’s IPCC report found stratification was one of the factors leading to lower productivity in the most important ocean ecosystems in the world for humans, such as California’s Humboldt Current. That’s because the layer of warm water on the top of the ocean acts as a cap, preventing nutrient-rich deep water from rising to the surface. Without it, the organisms at the base of the food chain decrease, and the impacts ripple through the ecosystem. Ocean dead zones are also tied to hotter ocean surfaces, which could further reinforce the decline in marine biodiversity.

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More stratified oceans also take up less carbon dioxide, which is bad, since humans appear to be in no rush to stop emitting it. That could unleash a feedback loop where more human carbon pollution remains in the atmosphere, leading to hotter oceans (and, it should be noted, land where we live) and less carbon uptake.

So basically, we’re baking the most terrible kind of layer cake imaginable. As if we needed another reason to turn down the oven.

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